OK so my food hasn't been that exciting lately but i will share the couple good things that have been going on.

I apparently didn't take a pic of this however if you like avocado like i do try this for breakfast make yourself a slice of toast, put a couple slices of avocado on it and then make a dippy egg and put that on top OMG that shit was good. 

now this cheap quick and easy. Ok here we go shrimp 3/4 of a bag i got at walmart for 6 bucks, the sauce on this pasta master piece was the left over Philadelphia cooking sauce from our stir fry the other day and a couple mushrooms i chopped up. the noodles were angel hair noodles i got for 69 cents at sharp shopper. I cooked the noddles. sauteed the shrimp and mushrooms then added the sauce after the noodles were done i added them straight to the sauce then bam done yummy.

This stuff is the best but do not be fooled. So yes in five sprays its less then a calorie but beyond that is a whole nother story. A whole bottle of this stuff has like 900 calories so use it with caution. I use it on my toast, corn, and on the bottom of the pan to keep stuff from sticking but never more then five squirts.

I went threw all the bread in the bread isle for you guys the other day and with a toddler this is not an easy feat so feel loved. but this was the best bread i could find for your calorie buck. 120 calories for 2 slices which most breads are 100 calories for 1 slice. this particular brand is also good at being a soft bread which i enjoy very much. When you all buy whole wheat bread make sure you are really getting what your buying. Look on the label if you see enriched anything put it back all your really eating is flour stay away from that crap. The first ingredient should be wheat.

Now these are the pills i was telling you about that i saw on dr. oz i have been taken them for 3 days now and i really don't feel a difference but its still early and i haven't stepped on a scale so we shall see. The plus about these is they kind of have a fruity taste so no vitamin grossness after you take it. they aren't horse pills so also easy to swallow. i will let you all know how its goes.

So a couple things. For anyone fighting the same battles as me I want to tell you the kind of things I tell myself and why for thirty years I was wrong. So how many of you when trying to break a bad habit look for any excuse to give in and stop fighting? Me me. In the past this has always been me. O your gonna yell at me I'll show you then go light up right. Or he doesn't care anyway let me eat my feelings away with this tub of ice cream. Am I getting close. Well for me it was always rebellion but who am I rebelling against myself? I would tell myself stuff like no one cares anyway, if he doesn't care why do I? Well I'm here to tell you the only person in all this that matters is that YOU care. If YOU didn't care you wouldn't be starting the process to begin with right. So here's my point all the reasons we let our addictions take over is a load of bullshit. Don't listen and listen to the you that started on that path to begin with.

I'll be posting about some food stuff tomorrow until then happy life changing everyone .

addiction

    Ok i just wanted to talk about over coming an addiction and maybe try to explain a little for people who have never really had one. So right now my body, head, and heart are fighting with them selves its just a bundle full of joy. So while your body is detoxing from something the chemicals in your body try to convience your brain you have to have it. While this is happening because your fighting it your emotions start to fuck with ya. So i am a little short tempered right now. I am also fighting the addiction to not revert back to my bad eatting habits. every thing you do it is a choice, so right now my body is convencied its starving, needs nicotine so im jittery, and when all this is happen you have to remember YOU ARE AN ADDICT. You must fight it your addicted brain, it will try to conveince you that you have to have the chemicals and  you don't. You also don't have to eat yourself out of house and home fighting the urges either. Go for a walk, color a picture, play with your kids, take a nap, play a game etc. The one thing you don't want to do is switch one addiction for another so fight that and don't do it.   I also want everyone to know that both of these addiction are extremely hard to break.  Food well its obvious you have to eat so breaking the addiction and bad habits are that much hard its not like you can just not buy food its kind of a daily requirement. and Smoking well its a legal drug and its every where. just stopping for gas puts the temptation right in front of your face.  Then you have people that say well its not crack its not a real addiction. for those people i have news for you my addictions are just as real as those.  So the one thing that has helped me is to position myself to not have to leave my house for a couple days to help the cravings go away.  I will not allow myself to eat more then 5 times in a day this should keep me from gaining weight back. thats three meals and two snacks. also pump the water in the more you flush the bad stuff out the quicker you will fill better.

Topics

               Ok so i'm gonna talk to you all about a couple things today the first smoking. So for anyone that might be reading this and considering having the bi-pass surgery know if your surgeon doesn't make you quit you need to run the other way. With that said today is day one of no smoking for me. I have no idea will i will be luckily enough to have my surgery so i shall just get a jump on it now. Its only been 6 hrs since my last smoke but since its the first thing i do at 7 and again when i get home i'm already fighting it. I have quit smoking before and its a bitch and like most other addictions stays in your blood forever. I just keep telling myself every choice is yours, mind over matter you are now in control not your body. So far its working. I am also hoping i can keep losing weight through this process and not gain which is hard to do when you quit smoking but that too is a choice and i am in control of my body not the chemicals.

Now for food. I haven't really made anything spectacular but i have found a couple things while i was at the store the other day and learned a thing or two in the last couple days that i will share with you.  Ok one when making a Gourmet grilled cheese sand which build it on the skillet not on the plate first and expect to be able to handle it. With that said it still tasted really good but looked a hot mess. i used shredded cheddar cheese a few slices of avocado and tomato and it was yummy but a sand which that had to be eaten with a fork.

  Here are my finds from the store

Now i don't remember what i paid for this i think like 3.00 however its a great little sweet treat for yourself you will not have to feel guilty about. 70 calories no sugar added and i think like 4g of protein not a bad treat at all for yourself.

Now for these puppies. They are not what i would call cheap it was 12 bucks for a box of 10 however if you consider how much most of us would spend even on a dollar menu in the mornings its cheap. So i tasted these the day i bought them and let me tell you totally worth that 240 calories filling and totally fills the craving of a fast food sand which also much cheaper and no gas to get there. So its all a win.

Ok everyone have a good day and happy life changing.

I'm SO excited

So i want to start this post with i realized this morning on my drive to the doctors office that i think i am the most content with my life then i have ever been in my life. I am slowly discovering who i am and where i want to go. I got some great news at the doctor this morning i lost 14 lbs this month. I was 408 last month and now i am 394 im so happy about that. They also told me that are gonna try to make it so i can have my surgery before christmas which also excites me. I went to walmart after to pick up a couple things which took forever cause of reading labels and walmart is def not cheap compared to sharp shopper but i got what i needed. I am going to try a couple new recipes i have seen of facebook this week, so i will let you know how that goes. Theres two more things i wanted to talk to you all about hummus and avacados. I have learned to like both of these things and if you can to it will do you your diet good. They both have good fats lots of fiber and protein and they are yummy. So i guess thats all for now. Happy life changing to you all

tonights dinner

So this is what we had for dinner tonight. its has 230 calories 8g of protein as packaged and 360 calories prepared. Some of you might what to know what that means for sure as did i. So i called kraft to find out. as prepared includes the chicken you put in it how awesome is that. the calories are also based on you preparing it the way the box directed i however didn't do that. I used two boxes, out of those two boxes i used two packs of noddles, two packs of seasoning, half a pack of the breading, no oil and only used 1 lb of chicken. Also i found these things at sharp shopper for a buck a piece. 

                                         

Now these gems I also got at sharp shopper 2 for a buck you can't get meat cheaper then that and its real meat. there is 230 calories and 15g of protein in here per serving.

and then these gems also from sharper shopper it was 3.99 for the box. thats like 30 cents a fruit cup. If you like me and cant afford to buy fresh often make sure your fruit is packed in its own juices and they don't add sugar, then your pretty good to go.

http://laurenconrad.com/blog/post/shape-up-the-get-fit-guide-for-the-girl-on-a-budget-fitness-exercise-guide-lauren-conrad-july-2013

heres a good website for ideas how to get fit for free

I suck at making titles so this was 9/21/2013

This is what i had yesterday for breakfast, i got it from sharp shopper for 1.99, its 180 calories for 1/2 a cup. if your anything like me your probably thinking who only eats 1/2 cup of cereal well this one 1/2 cup is plenty. it also has 4 grams of protein which isn't a whole lot but once you add milk its sufficient.
            Lunch i didn't photo it was just tuna fish nothing special a whole can 100 calories and a ton of protein a win win for me.

Now for those i have spoken to privately these are the bags of veggies i was talking about from sharp shopper, this bag was 2.49 and we used half of it for dinner last night so this portion of dinner was 1.24. a great mix of veggies and it added about 40 calories total to my dish.

these little gems i also found at sharp shopper 4 for a buck if you have ever gotten these at the regular store you know what a deal that is plus i only used half for dinner last night so that's less then a quarter for the whole dish. this has 110 calories and 4g of protein and pack loads of flavor. My trick with these is if you aren't gonna use them by there expiration date which when i bought these i think the day before i froze them. then you can use them whenever its convenient.

 this was a great buy also i think i paid maybe 2 dollars for it the sticker wasn't on this one so I'm not exactly sure. I used 1/2 of this package as well so really only a buck in the dish. they have 140 calories and 19g of protein they are also had great flavor.

This is what i put my stir fry on. now this wasn't cheap like the rest i think i paid 2.99 at walmart but totally worth it. i love couscous and its extremely filling and lots more protein then your typical rice. this made has 220 calories but i only put about a quarter of the amount of oil the package calls for so its not quite that much. and 8g of protein how awesome is that for a grain.

This was the final product and yes it looks like a hot mess but it was packed full of flavor and very filling.
So what i did was get my pan hot so i didn't need any oil i put my frozen veggies in and let them get unfrozen then i added the steak and the cooking sauce. then i made the couscous in a separate pan and once they were all done mixed them together.
If your using myfitnesspal there is a recipe builder so i put all the ingredients the amount of servings in each ingredient and how many people are eating that night and it tells me how many calories are in my meal how awesome is that.
O by the way this dinner might have taken 10 minutes to make start to finish

Yesterdays dinner total cost was $2.50 can't beat that to feed a family of 4. plus no effort and way better then mcdonalds.

                                           these cost a buck at sharp shopper, 140 calories and
                                           2g of protein.

                                           Yet again a buck from sharp shopper, these are
                                            210 calories and 16g of protein.

                                           The most effort i put into this dish was slicing the tomatoes. As you can i opted for 2 sausages instead of a bun however I actually only ate one cause i was full. So i walked away which i don't know how many people realize how hard that is for someone with these decease is hard. We are thought when we are children to make a happy plate an incredibly hard habit to break.

         Suggestion for today move a little more. I am not saying go do major exercise, but anyone of size finds it difficult sometimes to just bend over. So today make your own trips to the fridge to get your water, to find the remote, get your fork or whatever the case maybe.

The top picture is what i have been eating on a regular basis for breakfast. The shakes i found at sharp shopper for 2.99 for a pack of six so that's like 50 cents a can. they are 190 calories and 10g of protein, the doc says the more protein you get in the better that it helps to curb hunger. the yogurt was a dollar from walmart sometimes you can find them for 89 cents but i wasn't that lucky. now don't buy just plain yogurt cause that does nothing for you. this is greek yogurt which once you realize it doesn't taste like the "normal" yogurt you buy its good. it has 2x the protein, so that little yogurt is 100 calories and they range from 10g of protein to 14g depending on the flavor. Now the veggie burger heres a couple things i have learned on this journey so far first off you have to be willing to try things you might not normally try, those little veggie burgers are 170 calories a piece and 16g of protein. i think i paid a dollar for that pack at sharp shopper and there's 4 in there you can't beat a quarter a burger. now with that said don't get this and expect to get the same satisfaction as you would out of eating a "normal" burger cause you aren't gonna. however they aren't bad in flavor. i had one today with a individual veggie side that you put in the microwave. if i had kept that package i would have taken a picture for you too but i didn't oops. I intend to do a whole list and prices next time i go to sharp shopper. But for any of you that know what its like on a budget you have to work with what you got. I can't afford fresh for most meals so i try to count the calories in what i can afford and try to buy as healthy as i can, but anyone that's been to sharp shopper knows it changes what they have often so you never know what your gonna find. I did find some great deals when i was there last but the blog idea came up after that's why i don't already have a list made up. Tonight for dinner we are having hot dogs i know not that good but i will count the calories and be fine, potato wedges that i got i think for 1.50 for the bag and maybe some fresh tomato slices that i got from a local farmers market and boy are those tomatoes sweet.

So i saw this detox pill thing on dr. oz and i am going to try it. every little thing helps right. So i am going to give it a whirl and let everyone know how it works. i will not start taking it until after my doctors appointment this month so i know how im doing on my own and then with it to know if its actually helping or just a waste of my money. Something i forgot to mention in my earlier post water is extremely important. i try to get 100 oz in a day. there are days its hard but i force myself. also as far as motivation i want everyone to know i really don't have any i am just forcing myself to do better and be better like i would a child needing to do there homework. I don't want to do it but i know its whats best so i must. I have slacked on my walking do to sick children. its a little hard to go walking when your baby is sick so hopefully in a couple days he will be better and we can get back to walking. I have been doing really good watching my calories. I am not going to be one of those people that deprives them self of everything i just count it into my calories and go about my day. I have consistently been 400-800 calories under my daily alot ment that i get with my fitness pal app on my phone so that is great. I guess thats all i have to post right now.

Already a couple weeks in.

Ok so I started this blog much after i started my process. Let me catch you up to date. So I decided to dedicate the next year of my life to getting healthy. The date I started was 8/24/13 week one was easy yet hard. I was hard core addicted to McDonalds sweet tea. So week one I cut that out totally and now I only drink water. Week 2 I started with just writing down what i was eating to get me into a good habit of doing so. And now I am on week three, I have started using this great app on my phone called my fitness pal and it will help you with calorie counting and tracking what you put into and the great thing is its FREE. So now I am trying to incorporate fresh foods into my diet and im keeping track of my calories. I am also starting to exercise which is hard at my weight so what seems like very little to some at this point is a lot for me. I go back to the doctor the end of sept so i will know then how my weight loss is going. If anyone is interested in finding me on my fitness pal my user name is gilliebean102594.

about me.

The beginning

So i am starting this blog to be honest with myself and with others about me. I also want a place where people like me can go and feel comfortable talking about there situations. So I am a 403 lbs woman trying like hell to get healthy and live my life instead of watching everyone else around me live theirs. I also am a woman who has to live on a budget I live paycheck like most people i know in america. So here is my back story. I have always been over weight just not as over weight as i am now. My highest weight was 413. I am a 33 year old divorced mom of 4 beautiful children. They are 18,10,8, and 1. I have tried every weight loss thing known to man except bypass surgery which is in the plans hopefully for the beginning of next year. I have tried everything from cabbage soup to lapband surgery. So now i'm doing it the old fashioned way by cutting calories and exercising. I will admit its all hard. Anyone who is poor knows cheap processed food is easier to access and feed your family then the healthy stuff, and that's why i am creating this blog. To help us all learn how to do it right and affordable. Below i am going to post a picture of what i looked like at 413 lbs and hopefully if all goes right i will be posting a must smaller pic at the end of my year of dedication that i am giving myself. So please join me share your tales with me and lets kick fats ass.

UPDATE* I had my gastric bypass surgery 1/27/2014 and at this point have lost 17 lbs since then. thats a total loss of 73 lbs since i began this journey. I just want to thank everyone who is following me and supporting me you all have no idea how much that means to me.