Not Good Enough

Ok i am writing this so that if anyone else is feeling this way they know they aren't alone and if i look crazy well then so be it.   How many of us feel like we aren't good enough? Well i am having a day like that. I feel like im just as fat as i was, that no one who doesn't know me all they see is a fat person not that i am on this great journey with a happy ending. Then I ask why do I care what people i don't know think of me? Why can't i ever think they are thinking I look nice? Or her life looks so good? Why do i always assume people think the worst of me? I have always felt like the last kid getting picked for dodge ball even if I wasn't. 

Now what started all this glum stuff, is i was trying to find clothes to wear to a birthday party and none of my clothes fit me right and not cause they are to big.  I have yet to need to buy new clothes, how can a person lose more then 100 pounds and not need new clothes i am still shopping out of my own closet, this is driving me crazy.

 Then there are the people who want to say surgery is the easy way out. There is nothing easy about surgery, it might be a little quicker way to lose the weight but its far from the easy way out. Lets start with the fact you have your insides rerouted then you have to heal. Next you totally have to relearn your body and how if functions and you may never get it quiet right. Then you can't turn to your use to be best friend ever again. There is a huge emotional component to this thing then just dieting would. O and your stomach isn't the only thing thats different. 

 So i guess what i am saying is right now i am not feeling good enough, I have days like that and have to talk to myself a lot and remind myself of course i am if i wasn't i wouldn't have started this journey to begin with.

Well happy life changing every one.